
Florida and Michigan lost their Primaries for breaking party rules by trying to jump the gun and hold their elections too early... The most riveting part of this election cycle was the Democratic Primary. After all was said and done Obama won it- which was no small task. It was a triple-overtime bloodbath which actually gave Obama the strength he would need in the General Election. The "Hillary" Campaign left no stone unturned, and beat the GOP to the punch- on Ayres, on Rev. Wright, on drug experimentation as a teen and college student at Occidental, on just about everything the Republicans had planned on using if this Obama guy actually had the muscle to take down the Clinton machine.
Take down the Clinton Machine he did. After what will forever be known as the Primary war that spawned "PUMA" (Party Unity My Ass) and other Hillary supporters who defected from the Democratic party, Hillary begrudgingly ceded the Democratic crown to the guy with the funny name that got Republican voters all freaked out and led to viral emails purporting Christian Barack Obama to be a closet Muslim terrorist, that spanned the nation (and globe) and that spared no Inboxes. Unfortunately, anyone who wasn't an avid O'Reilly Factor or Hannity and Colmes watcher saw the lies for what they were, and kept watching for some substance from either candidate.
Obama was accused of mere "oratory"- an "empty suit" if you will; his stirring speeches made his opponents public speaking skills painful to watch. Then Obama got down to business. He built the biggest network of small donors ever seen in an American election, utilized cutting edge technology and a cadre of politically savvy staff who knew just how to tap into the ire of voters pissed off over what had transpired since W took office in 2000, and keenly understood the new dynamics of 21st century politics. Huckabee got a TV show on Fox. McCain retired his Maverick image and sold his soul to the ideological neoconservative side of the GOP, turning his statement to "rather lose an election than lose his integrity"- into a joke.
Obama, carrying the message of "Change", ironically selected entrenched Washington Senator Joe Biden as his Vice Presidential pick- ostensibly for his foreign policy credentials- certainly not for his flare for foot-in-mouth campaign trail moments. McCain on the other hand, who, like Hillary Clinton, chided Obama for his lack of experience, selected the most inexperienced and naive politician to ever grace a US Presidential ticket in Sarah "You betcha!" Palin- former mayor of Wasilla, Governor of Alaska, just over a year into her first term. But Palin subscribed to the far-right politics that the GOP needed to assuage the fears of the disenfranchised "base" who were leery of McCain- and she trumped the celebrity status that Obama had been reaping (and was so criticized for by his opponents).
The Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado was an all-out Peace/Love/Hope/Change Fest (besides being a giant spectacle complete with Roman Columns and an Obama acceptance speech at a 60,000 seat football stadium). Bubba Clinton delivered a rousing introduction for Barack, comparing Obama's youth and inexperience to his own in 1992. You can take a wild guess how Obama's acceptance speech went over (think- very, very well). Hillary and Obama put their differences aside, ironically, for "Party Unity". Some of the PUMA and other Hillary defectors started creeping back into the Democratic fold..
The Republican National Convention was an all-out Fear/Terror/"Country First!"-Fest which failed to actually describe what the abstract notion of "Country" really is, and why Democrats (or anyone who doesn't vote Republican for that matter..) isn't putting "Country First". Guillani mocked Obama's community organizing; Sarah Palin flaunted her vast experience as a pit-bull with lipstick, hockey mom, just your average "Joe-Six Pack". McCain gave his acceptance speech and recited the words "Bush" and "Middle Class" a total of exactly "ZERO" times.

Obama began connecting the dots on his policy stances and proposals. The United States economy collapsed under it's own weight of bad loans and bogus corporate income statements on a Depression Era scale. The Dow Jones lost almost 6,000 points in a little over a week. McCain "suspended" his campaign, and paraded into Washington only to nearly unravel the government bailout which staved off complete chaos in the stock market. McCain threatened to pull out of the first debate. McCain was widely criticized- so he un-suspended his campaign and went ahead to the first debate in Mississippi. Obama won the first debate. Obama won the second and third debates, which started to make Senator McCain pretty angry. Obama began riding a wave of momentum. McCain began his "kitchen sink" strategy, trying (in vain) to link Obama to former Weather Underground founder David Ayres, Tony Rezko, Chicago Mayor Daley, "Chicago Machine Politics", ACORN, and other shadowy nefarious figures which, as it would turn out, Obama really hadn't all that much to do with.
Nothing seemed to stick. McCain and Palin, in their visible and audible desperation, kept throwing sh%t at the wall of Obama-enthusiasm sweeping America. Slime, fears, smears, race-card, inexperience-card, terrorist card. Nothing stuck. The only buyers were members of the crowd at his rallies (already solidly McCain voters) who began to chant and shout threatening phrases and epithets at nearly every stop of the "Straight Talk Express". Obama continued to stay positive and tap into voters struggles and aspirations; he kept talking about "Hope" and "Change" and a break from the failed policies of George W. Bush and the extreme right-wing ideology of the Republican Party. His economic plan? Tax breaks for the middle class; tax increases on those who don't need the Bush tax cuts. McCain's plan? TBA (-er, something or another about socializing the mortgage crisis....).

Some plumber from Ohio questioned Obama on his proposed tax policy (lying about wanting to buy a business when in fact he didn't even have a license to "plumb") became famous and exploited the McCain campaign for his own personal gain. Obama was branded as a "Socialist" by McCain and Palin at every turn and talkshow hour. This became the sad rallying cry of what is left of the enthusiasm behind the McCampaign. Palin's excessive "New York City" thread-shopping was revealed. Palin went Rougue. Palin went off the reservation. Palin started positioning herself for 2012 and her status as the future face of the GOP (good luck with that Sarah, or whoever buys that idea....). More Hillary defectors began to feel the horror of a McCain-Palin vote set in, and flock to Obama.
Obama began out-polling McCain in several swing states and more than a few solidly red states that W won in 2000 and 2004. McCain went on defense. Obama kept up his offense. Christopher Buckley endorsed Obama. Several other notable conservatives endorse Obama including General Colin Powell (dismissed as a purely racial endorsement by despicable McCain backers and staffers who couldn't muster up the mental power to accept reality). Obama ran a Ross Perot-like, 30-minute, 6 million dollar infomercial on every major network but ABC- in Primetime. Fox News began questioning the baseless Obama attacks of McCain Campaign's last great hope (Joe-the-Plumber!). (bad, bad, sign).
McCain got stood up by the now-famous plumber on the campaign trail ("Where's Joe the Plumber at? Joe? Joe's supposed to be here... Joe where are you at? [Silence]"). Just 96 hours remain before the next President of the United States is elected by over 120 million American voters. And that brings us to today. It has been a long, strange, trip indeed.... It all ends this coming Tuesday. Or rather, (if things hold steady and we aren't bamboozled) it all begins anew. Are we really ready to make history and start the next great chapter of the American Story? You betcha!



